Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
