yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
