We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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