Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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