She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
