I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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