i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
