someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
