You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We have so much sex to catch up on
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
