it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
