nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
