The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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