Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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