You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
