And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
How's work?
Spinning.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
