I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
