I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
