do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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