guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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