Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
