Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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