But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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