So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
