I just saw a hot homeless man
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
