Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
where are you?
Hypothermia
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
The power of my boobs compel you
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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