There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
