is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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