I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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