So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
