mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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