maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
