i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
