How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
