My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
sarcasm needs its own font
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
