Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
