This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
