How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
