almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
