He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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