i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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