maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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