i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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