i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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