NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
