hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
