At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
