we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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