I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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long story
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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