There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
