I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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