one word: firstdatebathroomanal
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
