Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
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